u envy, I envy

i've let myself go a little bit..

after couples get married...statistically they let themselves go a bit...

friends, this is what you have to look forward to in marriage :)

a not so spiritual blog....

So I'm sitting her on a Sunday afternoon, belly full of sweet potatoes, watching Lord of the Rings with my husband, Anna, and Daniel....a pretty good Sunday afternoon.

Here are some things you should check out....

www.northwebsite.com (basically what I am up to)

AND 

www.danielandanna.net   Congrats Anna and Daniel!!!

(i will be getting a new brother in January...which is pretty cool)

So, I had my first subbing job this week. I loved it! I subbed in a Special Education room, and it was such a great day! :) I really would do it without pay, just to hang out with those kids every day. I had good times this week hanging out with friends and family. I practiced cooking some...my fish tacos (not so good), buckeyes and pumpkin pie..(success). :) I really am starting to enjoy it!!  AND, the Buckeyes lost. :( BOO....they really just sucked! oh well!

There were so many wonderful things about this week! One thing that the Lord is teaching my heart that for some reason I tend to forget is that as a child of my Father life on this earth is a battle. Sometimes we forget about the battle of good/evil - light/dark. Life will be so good, and then it blind-sides us. Other times, we focus on it so much that we walk around heavy, scared, and discouraged that nothing in this life is easy. I believe both are wrong lenses to look at the world through. The Lord has been teaching me to acknowledge the battle, pray for our ministry, pray for my husband and family, and pray for our friends; but to ultimately give HIM the responsibility of handling everything. AND, when I say give Him the responsibility....ALL of it. The Lord has been asking me to love and TRUST Him as a little child- child-like faith.

 It is only through my eyes as His child (faithful, trusting, loving Him completely) that this world and this life is fun, full of joy and peace.

OK- SO I guess that is sort of spiritual......unlike the title of this blog! :)

On a completely different note:

To those in Ohio(and places other than Texas)that I love so very much- friends and family,

There is something I want to say to you all. I am not sure how to say it the right way, so I am going to say it out-right. I love you all so much. I miss you all so much it hurts. I know I am not as easy to access. I am not as easy to talk to. I am not even good a returning phone calls, emails...whatever. 

That doesn't mean that I love you all any less than I did when I lived near you. I am just adjusting to my new marriage, environment, ministry, and work. Please continue to write and call; each time I hear from you it blesses me to know you are thinking of me at that moment. Life will eventually calm down. Thank you for your love and so often your encouragement. It is good to hear from you. I love you all!!! :) :) :)

Today I got some new running shoes and a running watch from my wonderful husband. I pretty pumped to try them out! HIGH FIVE!

bye :)

Tex

This is "Tex"

Tex lives about a block from me overlooking the highway and watching over my house. 

They are thinking about tearing him down, but I sure hope they don't. Tex used to be a model the world's largest pair of jeans. (yes, he wore an actual pair of jeans!) Now he's just kinda hanging out, watching me jog past him every day.

Wednesday, September 3

I wrote this Wednesday, but I haven't been to the internet :)

Here it is!

Last night, I had the most wonderful dreams. 

Actually, I'm not even sure if it was dreams or a dream or what exactly it was... all I know it was perfect- wonderful.

I know I met God there.

I didn't like meet Him and shake His hand or anything;

but He was there.

 

I am so incredibly visual.

I am not balanced at all.

You know how some people hear things and can remember them or do things and can do them forever? Most people are a good mix of everything as far as learning and relating to the world. I am pretty strictly visual. I have to read something to understand it...see things to comprehend them. It can, at times, be frustrating.

I am just not a good balance.

 

Here's the cool thing though; I literally see the world. Moment by Moment.

I am so glad the Lord made me this way. As frustrating as it can be, it is special to me. I am glad the Lord made me exactly the way I am.

 

Words and sounds and emotions create images in my mind.

 

I will never be a musical person, but I can see music. I can’t describe it to you, but it’s an image or maybe a movement.

 

Last night, all night, I heard worship to God in my dreams. Last night, I spent all night worshipping.

I spent all night in the movement of the sound of worship.

 

When I woke up this morning these words repeated in my ears and stirred this image of worship in my mind…

 

As the sun peels back petals,

Every time I hear Your name

I dance.

 

That is what worship sounds like - looks like- to me.

 

I woke up with such a sense of peace. I knew I had spent the night in the Presence of my God.

 

See, yesterday, was a hard day. Every emotion I felt, every word that I spoke, only looked like darkness to me. It was all I could see. I felt like I was looking but not seeing…numb…

God, where are you?

 

But then I went to sleep, and He was there. I felt Him. I saw Him. The Bible says that God inhabits the praises of His people.

 

Praise was in my dreams, and He was there.

 

The wonderful thing about it is, I had absolutely nothing to do with it. I was asleep. In fact, I had lived in darkness that entire day if I had done anything at all.

 

When God meets me, when I see Him……

it isn’t because I deserve it.

It isn’t because I made myself a better person that day.

It isn’t because I am anything at all.

 

It is because He loves me. His love isn’t based on what I do or don’t do. His love isn’t based on my performance at all.

His love is love.

God’s love is real love.

God is love.

It’s not dependent on me at all.

I just bring Him joy.

 

It’s kind of hard to understand, but that’s only because there is nothing else like it.

 

He doesn’t just save you; He blesses you; He heals you- over, and over and abundantly. (Romans 8)

 

Last night (before the dream), I saw Phil Wickham in concert at North. (CHECK HIM OUT!!!!!)

He wrote the following lyrics…

 

“For you

I sing,

I dance.

I rejoice in this divine romance.”

 

That’s a picture of what HIS love looks like FOR me…for YOU.

 

As the sun peels back petals

Every time I hear Your Name

I dance

For Your love

I dance

With breath that dances

And leaks off the lips

When You

Are

Praised.