the deadly desert

I have described life for me in recent times to be a desert. Last night at North, we sang an amazing song about God's love. I couldn't help but feel the Presence of the Lord, but I also couldn't shake the feeling in my heart that the EXTENT and very meaning of God's love is veiled from my heart. I was touched by the song. I could feel God's love at that moment. YET, a little something inside of me told me I really just don't understand God's love.
It felt really great to know I was loved so dearly by God, but something inside of me cried out to God for more. Something inside of me (my spirit....the real person that I am) Begged God to tear apart what keeps me from that knowledge.
God deliver me; that I might know.

And really I do know what keeps me from His love, my old fling- Fear.

He said to me, so very clearly, another layer has to go.

Today, I had a moment to talk to God. I picked up a book my dear friend Meg had let me borrow and read the first line of the dedication.
It is as follows:

"To walk with God in the high places we must lose our fear. Fear can only be lost in the desert, in the crucible of warfare, inferiority and internal struggle. In that place where only God can shelter you. Only His comfort works. All is stripped bare and we come to rest in His goodness."

I can read no more today.




"Living in Dependency and Wonder: The Journey of Discovering the Depths of God's Love For You" by Graham Cooke

real ity check

Been thinkin'....what is reality? What makes something real?

Because, what is very real to me...might not be the same for you.

I can't get real deep on this....I mean, I haven't had a college class that asked these types of questions in a couple years. Its just something I'm thinking about.

Be careful what you think about. What you think about is really who you are and probably what you either currently believe or will begin believing. Even the Bible, yes the Good Book, talks a lot about the mind.

I guess because of gravity or for some reason, whatever I spend time thinking about eventually leaks down from my mind and settles in my heart. Let me tell you, just because you are thinking about something doesn't mean its real or even from God. You can help what you think about....its tough, but it just might change your reality.

"Set your heart on things above..."
"Set your heart at rest in His Presence..."
"Seek peace, and pursue it...."
(I guess I like "s" scriptures today)

It all begins with what you think about, OR what you ALLOW yourself to think about.

"My heart is glad in Him because I trust in His Holy Name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in You." Psalm 33

pictures from mexico...scroll down for story!

ok, obviously david added the title :)

Casa Por Jesus?

 

By Lady Katherine (of the Sexy-faces) Ritchie

 

 

 

Oh the glories of blogging!! How much I love you….ok, not really. What makes blogging hard is figuring out what wonders to write. A lot happens between blogs, and I think that life is interesting. At least I find my life interesting, and the wonderful thing about this is if YOU didn’t find it that way as well; you wouldn’t be reading it. Ok, so I’m just being ornery. I really am finding it hard to decide….

Since I wrote my last blog, I have once again taken a trip to Mexico. This was by no means another honeymoon, in fact; my honey woke up the morning of the trip throwing up the honey-baked chicken the night before!! SO….we threw up a few quick prayers for direction and realized that it would just be impossible for him to go. This trip to Mexico was HARD WORK in the HOT sun and included a 10 hour van ride across the border!

I tried to play it pretty tough, and if I am honest with myself my question, “Honey, do I need to stay home and take care of you?” was about 80% concern and 20% fear of going alone. David didn’t even falter. He knew I had been excited about this trip for basically forever, and he knew that this was an important time for our ministry. If you have ever been on a mission trip, you will certainly understand the amazing relationship and growth you make with the people you go with. This trip was really important for us and for North….we were both just so bummed out- we had spent so much time thinking, talking, and praying about this whole thing. Grrr

Soooooo….Next thing I knew I was standing in our garage, car loaded, praying: “Oh dear God…Oh God help me.” I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to go far away from my husband for quite some time…(our dating process)…and I really only felt like I knew one other person going…I told myself the whole way to Amarillo that 1 out of 40 was better than 0!! J

Our trip was split into 2 teams: my friend and her husband leading 1 and myself and one of the children’s pastors leading another. Each team built one 3 room casa for a family in Mexico. (Please check out the organization Casas for Christo)  Our team of 17 built a house in Juarez (I know not the safest location on the map….there have been hundreds of murders there this year because of some gang stuff….a few people, including a pastor were murdered there while we were in town!). The site was a trash dump, literally. The family had 5 children, 1 mom, and two grandparents. Their house had burnt down, and they had been on the waiting list for 9 months at Casas. I found out pretty quickly why ponies have tails…I wore my hair in a ponytail every day so I could swish the flies out of my mouth- they were EVERYWHERE.

Juarez is 1 mile from the United States. We drove 10 hours in a van from the panhandle of Texas to the border of the US, and from El Paso you can literally see into Juarez from the 2^nd story of the hotel we stayed in there. Please, this is NOT a guilt trip, this IS reality….just beyond our borders.

Anyways, we built our house from the ground up…mixed our own cement and everything. It was an amazing experience. There were kids everywhere…especially around our lunchtime. Our family was so sweet. They wept when we got there and wept when we left. I so much enjoyed getting to know this precious family. Even during the hottest afternoons, they stood out in the sun with us and watched us work. My team members were some of the most incredible people I have ever met. I made many dear friends. One of the dearest friends I made and one of the most amazing people I have ever met was a girl who is going to college in Amarillo and was adopted into the US from Russia at 15. Her story of coming to know our God in such a real way made my cry for the hours (I mean hours) we shared in the van to and from Mexico. She really lives out the verse, “in Him (Jesus) there is FULLNESS of JOY.” She was just ONE of 17 awesome people I got to know.

We had a lot of trials building our house. We finished 9 hours behind our schedule and the other team. Our final day was 15 hours of hard, exhausting work. Not one of those team members got discouraged. We prayed over that house as we built it, with every nail we drove we asked God to use it for HIS glory.  I believe He will. I believe that the more that we came up against building that darn thing, the more that evil in this world must not want such a place to exist. At the end of the final day, we tearfully dedicated that house and that family to the Lord. BOY, that was hard, and it was hard saying goodbye to the family and all the little kids we loved so much.

When we got back into our van to head back to El Paso for the night, the weariness finally hit me. I was so tired all I wanted to do was see my husband and maybe just cry, just because. I couldn’t help but feel accomplished and proud of our team. I couldn’t help but feel so grateful for new friendships and stories of how good God is! Most importantly, I couldn’t help but feel the Presence of God.

I have kind of gone through a time in my life- a little like a desert. The Lord brought me right up to the edge of that desert place and said…Kate, you walk right to the other side of it…I am going to walk with you. I felt like every single cactus and rock I passed was telling me I must be lost or walking the wrong way…even worse that I was walking all alone. Sometimes it made me look right at God and say, I know you told me to walk through this, but why does it have to be so hard and quiet out here. Sometime I even told Him to just go away, or I’d just say that the desert was just too hot to talk to Him. Ok, enough of the crazy metaphor….Somewhere in Mexico, at sometime building this house, I decided to stop worrying about how hot it was or how many flies were on my face or how sad it was that this family’s house burnt down…and just talk to God. Oddly enough I was afraid He wouldn’t talk back that He really had left me out in the desert to face the heat alone, but He hadn’t, and He talked back…and I had missed the sound of His voice so very much. I just love being in His Presence.

Back to the van ride out of Mexico to El Paso, Texas….and the crying just because I was tired. Around midnight (we were stuck in border traffic from 10-12) I FINALLY got my US cell phone service back!!! YIPPEEEEE!!!! So I called my sick husband to find him no longer sick and very worried about why in the world we were 11 hours late! OOPS! Of course he wanted to know why, and I wanted to know the answers to questions like….”While I was gone, did your heart forget that you loved me?” I know, I am a total girl. My phone was dying and the border patrol asked me to terminate all cell phone conversation……so I was left sad, exhausted, and missing him something awful.

I was the VERY LAST person out of the vans at the hotel in El Paso. I just stood there just like I did in my garage a few days earlier saying, “Oh God, dear God, how the stink am I going to carry my bag. I am just too tired.” At that moment, I turned around and there was a very sexy man running towards me…..and he gave me a big hug and he smelled really good and he had flown from Amarillo to meet me when  I came across the border! J J J I cried all over again. He even carried my bags for me!! J J

            Marriage and David’s love has taught me so much about the way that the Lord loves me. That God never leaves me alone to walk through the desert by myself. That God never forgets in His heart how much He loves me. That He never decides one day He doesn’t want to speak to me anymore. How amazing, How much God loves each person. How personally and intimately He cares for us all. How He longs for our hearts, our friendship. How excited He is when we finally realize that about Him. When we finally stop running from Him. When we finally find ourselves in Him. You know, I was pretty tired when we rolled into that hotel….but it all went away when David showed up….

We spent almost all night talking, laughing until it hurt, and crying about what the Lord. It was the most fun I had in….maybe forever.

 

 

The end.

mexico

Hey Everyone!!

Is anyone in this world as incredibly excited about the olympics as me?!?! I DON'T THINK SO!!

There is no one!

I weep and stand with my hand pressed to my heart as we win another gold metal and play our wonderful national anthem!

OK, maybe not, but I love it!!

:) :) yay! :) :) 

Good thing for tivo....because, I will be in Jaurez, Mexico this week building a house with North!!! I found out a little info on the families at the final meeting last Tuesday. We will be building 2 houses for 2 families. The families have 5 kids and 6 kids respectively. Each family brings home a whopping $700.00 per month, and one of the families had a massive house fire recently in which they lost everything. 

SOOOOO.....I'm excited to see what the Lord is going to do. I know we definitely be coming home with 2 houses completed, but I more importantly I know that the Lord has more to do...in those families, in our group, and in my heart. Please pray for us!!!

I will definitely write about the experience. :) If you will be watching the olympics, specifically men's and women's gymnastics .....DO NOT COMMENT WITH INFORMATION! I will NOT be your friend anymore! :) :)

Ok, I love you. Goodbye :)

Have fun at college Ike! 

You're invited.....

if you are in town :) :)